Tell the Truth and Let’s be Honest!!

June 26, 2017

So,  I hear so many of our black men complaining about black woman and the issues they’ve experienced in their past or even their present life. If we are being honest, some of their situations are a result of their own choices. Let’s talk about choices for a moment here!  What is choice exactly? What does it mean?

Image result for black man lying to black woman

Choice – An act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.  Now, that we now know the definition of the word, choice, let’s talk about the choosing of a mate. What I have come to realize when it comes to men choosing a mate sometimes it isn’t so much about choosing a woman that is the better version of a particular man or one who has certain types of characteristics traits or quality like being a good mother or wife, it’s moreso about if she can help me achieve greatness.  Can she build a home? Is she good with her finances? Is she family-oriented? Self-driven? Motivated? Ambitious? Does she have the capacity and the ability to love me in the way I need and required to be love? Can she help me become a better person? Can she help me to get to the next stage of life? --- I’m sure you get the point. These are questions that men should ask themselves when choosing a mate.

Their choices often don’t come from any of these questions and if it does, it’s rare.  Their choices usually come from a few things for example:

  1. Physicality - Is she the “Baddest Bitch” in the room?  Do heads turn when I walk into a room with her? I’m the envy of all my friends and peers. Do I get a high five and a slap on the ass…
  2. Lust – Having a sexual attraction or desire for someone that I merely have an infatuation with.
  3. Convenience – The woman that makes herself available for any and every thing.  Booty calls, side-chick applicants, women that make no requirements and have no expectations of themselves or the men they’re seeing. The danger of this situation is that you can find yourself stuck with someone you really didn’t want in first place.
  4. Curiosity – I may have heard she’s bad in bed, but she may have skills!! I get the try that out.
  5. Body count – This is were I’m not choosing a woman because I have any standards, I’m just having sex with anyone and thing that would let me deposit in them.


Image result for black man flirting with a black woman

In essence, when men pick women based on any of the above reasons listed and the relationship doesn’t work out, they develop a negative perception and image of black woman, which isn’t always fair or right. It’s time that black men take responsibility for their actions and man up!! It’s okay for you to admit that you made a bad choice, were immature, irresponsible and restless with your judgement and choice.  


So, is it unfair for men to classify and label all black woman as being gold diggers, drama queens, bossy, angry, negative, dream killers, incapable of love, etc?  ABSOLUTELY, take some ownership of the role you played within the choice you made for your life, and stop blaming the “Black Woman” for one or a few bad choices you made for the wrong reasons.


Stacy-Ann Simpson

Stacy-Ann Simpson Was born May 13, 1981 to teenage mother Juliet Perez and father Devon Almond Simpson in Kingston Jamaica. Stacy-Ann attended the Melrose All Age School after graduating she, then moved on to the Dunoon Technical High School where she spent the next few years pursuing her studies in general studies with concentration a in home economics, food and nutrition, history while obtaining her school diploma after graduation Stacy-Ann migrated to the state to join her other siblings in pursuit of better opportunity. Stacy-Ann grow up in a home with a phenomenal woman who wasn’t her paternal mother but her adopted mother , mother in every sense of the word of what a mother present .After arriving in the state Stacy-Ann always  being a industries person and good with her hands decide to get her state certification and Diploma  has a Esthetician from the dermal institute in Miami Fl , though she loved what she did and was very good at it she still felt like that wasn’t her purpose and true calling her spirit wouldn’t let her rest. At 27 years year old Stacy-Ann decides to take leap of faith and relocate to Dallas Texas to join her sister in hope of finding herself, the kind of woman she wanted to become and purpose.

Stacy-Ann Simpson, 35 has always had a passion and heart for outreach program and the gift of servitude from a very young age. Stacy-Ann was the former vice president BAM mentoring program for young girls located in the Dallas Fort Worth Area. This was easy for her to have done she is no stranger to hard work and helping others, Stacy-Ann actively volunteer with, humane society, tad for kids and Kids in distress at Antioch Missionary Baptist Church where she was a member in the State of Florida, and since relocating to Dallas TX she has continue that same spirit of giving back with volunteering with Fort Worth Food bank, Counter Culture, East Fort Worth Clean up and Walk For Dime. When she is not volunteering or pursuing her career endeavors, Stacy-Ann can be found hosting her own podcast talk show, Tea Talk Time with her follow co-host Dee Moore, where she provides a platform for men and women to discuss real life issues within their community and families. Stacy-Ann enjoys cooking; listening to music live entertainment like stage plays, musical, movies etc and spending quality time with her family and friends.

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