SEX & CHEATING: Why did they cheat?

Monday, December 19, 2016
Slay Magazine
Why did they cheat?

Most would agree, especially women, that we WANT our mates to communicate with us.  Do we REALLY?  Are you really ready to HEAR what our men want to do to us or have done to them? For instance,  what if your partner, especially a male partner, said that he wanted you to try anal play on HIM? What would be your first response? THAT response is either why your partner WOULD or WOULD NOT communicate their sexual desires to YOU!  That is something that you and I need to think about as a partner.  We need to ACCEPT the fact that we contribute to our partners’ LACK of communication.  This is one reason, especially for MEN, that they cheat on their spouses or girlfriends. The TRUTH is it’s simply easier for a guy to go to a stranger.  He can simply find a person that caters to his specific desire, go where he’s accepted and above all is NOT judged.  Going to a strip club, for instance, requires NO explanation to the door person, bartender, and/or strippers.  They know why he’s there and they are there to financially or sexually benefit from his desires.   He gains a feeling of relief and freedom to be “HIMSELF.” Isn’t that what society has taught guys their whole lives? Men are encouraged to “sow their wild oats” while society says it’s projected that men will have sex at an early age and have more than one sexual partner simultaneously, which is the “norm.”

WOMEN cheat too!  Let’s start with the facts. The majority of women cheat for emotional reasons, especially in the beginning.  A woman whose emotional needs are not meet starts cheating by emotionally detaching from their man and attaching themselves to a man who gives compliments, emotional support, and whose attention is always on deck. However, do not get it twisted, women do cheat for physical reasons like men and they almost always couple that with lack of emotional needs being met. Women also have another factor to consider which is “sex shaming.” In today’s society, women have been taught NOT to act on sexual desires.  Some religious influences go so far as to ban masturbation and explain that a young woman should not have desires or even explore their sexuality. I understand the sentiment here; however, this could be a problem. If a woman waits to have sex until she’s married, how is she supposed to become this Sex Goddess that has that perfect blend of FREAK with the “quintessential” twist of poise and class. This brings about a really great question. Exactly when and where is a woman going to gain this “intimate” knowledge of sexual “pleasure” giving and exploring her own vagina?

The truth is we have been influenced by society when it comes to sex.  Men have been encouraged to explore sex, while women are often “slut” shamed if a woman explores her desires.  What is the solution? TAKE YOUR SEX LIFE BACK!  If you are over 21, it’s time to define YOUR own sex life! How do you do this? Start with rediscovering sex.  Think about the things that turn you on and start exploring! Yes, REALLY! Based on your own moral values, go out there and start reading about and googling SEX!   Define your OWN sexual boundaries. You decide your comfort level with your sexual desires and porn could be a good place to start.  There are all kinds of categories of porn; so, if you’re not ready for hardcore, you can start with soft porn (i.e. kissing, masturbation, or soft touching). You ARE allowed the freedom to explore things that get you off.  Just remember, always play safely and cautiously so that you can live to play another day! Getting to know and understand how you “get off” is the key to getting YOUR sexy on! Having an understanding about who you are sexually and having the space to express it is priceless!  When a woman has a mate that is sexually encouraging, he can guide her into a sexual blend of classy and trashy!

By: Caramel ViXxXen


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