Is It Cheating?

Monday, May 9, 2016
Slay Magazine

I was asked an interesting question today…is it cheating if it stays “virtual”? Meaning, online flirting and or sexting? I have to say yes. Technically speaking, any energy exerted outside of a person's primary relationship can be considered cheating. Whether it's an emotional affair with no sexual contact, an e-mail relationship or a virtual-reality relationship, they're all different forms of the same thing, which is connecting to someone outside of your relationship.

Now I know we all flirt (anyone that says they don’t is either fooling themselves or don’t know how) but taking it to the next level of sending explicit pictures or going into detail about a sexual act, is beyond flirting. Sometimes these online unions, marked by instant message communication and even virtual sex, lead to real-life phone talk, meetings and all the activities that may come from that. Believe it or not, having a cyber relationship can fill a void someone may be missing in their life. And you’re partner may feel having this type of “relationship” with someone is worse than the sexual act itself, because you’re developing an emotional connection that you may have lost with your significant other. Emotional connection is more damaging than a physical connection, I think. And more and more relationships are being tested and ending due to the access many have with social media. Married men (and women) DM’ing someone, sending private messages on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, is in a sense a form of cheating. Some of you may not agree, and of course there are circumstances to the rule. Acknowledging the fact that someone is attractive and paying an innocent compliment is one thing. Constant messaging to the point of asking someone out on a date or saying, “when can I see you”, is taking it to the next level. It never ceases to amaze me the men that will message me day in and day out, portraying themselves as a single man, only to give the wife a shout out on her birthday and talk about “how my soulmate changed my life” type b.s. It’s funny actually and I feel sorry for the wives. Got me singing, “If you’re girl only knew, that you was trying, to kick it with me, what would she dooooo?” Ok, sorry, I lost focus lol. But you guys get what I’m saying. I don’t think anyone in a relationship or married would be ok with their spouse behaving this way. So for those reading that feel having a “cyber relationship” isn’t cheating as long as there’s no sexual acts involved, pull up your partners messages (doubt they’ll let you though), read the inappropriateness of it, and tell me if it won’t run your blood hot. If it doesn’t and you’re cool with it, PLEASE school me on how you do that, cuz I haven’t mastered that trick yet!

By: Nikki J

"I speak from failure and experience"


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