Can The Relationship Be Saved When You Lose Sexual Attraction?

Friday, May 20, 2016
Slay Magazine

You have a great relationship, get along well, financially stable, communication skills on point, but you've lost your sexual attraction to your mate. End of the relationship? Hmmmm, not so much. In long term relationships and even marriages, one can't expect to have the same attraction they once had. Things change, people change, and LIFE happens. Just because you're going through a "sexual rut" is no reason to throw away an overall good thing. I understand the importance of sex especially to men, but sex is not the primary reason for a successful relationship. If you take the time, make the effort, and really want it, anyone can recover from a sexual rut. 

When I was married, I have to admit we weren't on the same page about what makes a successful relationship. My mindset was trust, communication, being equally yoked, etc while his was sex. If our sex life was good, all was well in the world to him. We were together 8 years. When I started losing the attraction, all hell broke lose because he didn't know how to communicate with me. What do you think happened? Yeap, he cheated. What do you think happened after that? Yeap, I divorced his ass. Did we have an overall good thing? I thought so; however, I see that we didn't after all was said and done. So, I use that example to say that when you put sex as the top reason to keep a relationship together you're really setting yourself up for failure. You have to be able to look past that because marriage should be until death do you part. When your partner reaches a certain age, sex will be the last thing on their mind. I believe a relationship can survive even if the sexual attraction has a momentary lapse if both are on the same page about what they have and what they want. Fellas, she won't always have that flat belly, nice round butt and perky breasts. Ladies, he won't always have a six pack, nice chest, and big powerful arms. That's nice to look at but not enough to sustain a positive marriage. Once people can accept that features change, relationships may last a lot longer, instead of someone looking for the next shiny, new penny when they already have a dime.

By: Nikki J

"I speak from failure and experience"


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